The Stock Market vs The Male Market

I have great news. I think that some of my shares may actually be making me a profit in the not too distant future. Yes, please don’t laugh, I know I should have been making a profit from the beginning but hey, I am still learning. And believe me, even if you read every financial market textbook there is, engage in technical/fundamental and value analysis, you will still get it wrong some of the time. Just like we do with relationships. Actually, as far as I can tell, the JSE and men* have a lot in common:

1.          They both have hidden costs: When buying shares on the JSE, you also incur brokerage fees, STRATE fees etc, which, if you are new to this, can take you by quite surprise! (Incidentally, this is why I have been incurring losses – due to not being able to trade with copious amounts of cash, every little cost counts). Men, on the other hand, have more complicated costs that you may not be aware of when you first enter into a relationship – he might have disagreeable friends, be married to golf, enjoy a few too many too frequently, or (God forbid!), he might be disappointing in more intimate circumstances! Costs of the JSE and men occur when you have already made a substantial investment and cannot easily pull out without incurring more costs.

 

2.          They are both unpredictable: The JSE tends to get easily influenced by the investors’ feelings. As a result, it can be extremely volatile and some times not act in the way you would expect, as some other investors’ may have different feelings to yours. Alternatively, men are inexplicably unpredictable – sometimes influenced by their friends, sometimes by their family and sometimes by you. You just never know which way he is going to go. Both shares and men may end up disappointing you for no satisfactory explanation and there is absolutely nothing you can do about this.

 

3.          They are both High Risk, High Return: As many of you might know, the JSE is a high risk investment that can ultimately offer you the greatest return in comparison to other investment options such as cash or bonds. In the same breath however, you can luck out, and incur all the risk without any of the return. It depends very much on your choice of shares and your reasons for investing in them. Similarly, men are a high risk, high return asset (in comparison to pets, a good book or a slab of chocolate). Unfortunately, many of us get it wrong initially: so eager to get into the market, we invest in the wrong man, incur hidden costs and leave the relationship with negative returns usually made up of heartbreak, insecurity and lack of self respect. This results from a lack of comprehensive analysis due to love being ‘blind’. But luckily, most of us learn, and further attempts involve intelligent investing where we are rewarded with high returns, even when there are hidden costs. Both good men and good shares are worth waiting for.

So my investor friends, be careful of what or who you invest in and most importantly, don’t rush into anything. Be patient , have a margarita, and you might just be greatly rewarded.

*I do not deny that this blog could be similarly applied to women. But it is really so much more fun comparing it to men – besides isn’t investing in the stock markets a very manly thing to do? A good comparison, indeed.