The Temptation that is BFG

So anyway, there might be love (oh, whom I kidding, it’s definitely lust) in the air.

Don’t act so surprised. I am actually quite likeable.

Unfortunately, however, there are some obstacles to this rendezvous:

1.       BFG (let just call him that as it describes him quite nicely) works for my father.

2.       My father’s offices are at home. I live at home (don’t judge me).

3.       I am volatile and dramatic. Needless to say I have less than amicable break ups.

4.       BFG is 6’4”, I am 5’3” (I find this more amusing than problematic).

Oh, what to do?

Ah, fuck it, I can’t think rationally here – it’s been a long, dry season.

How do you get rid of temptation? You yield to it. Fantastic, problem solved. Thanks for all your help.

(Sorry dad!)

Climbing mountains?! Why would anyone do that?!

In my previous post, I referred to climbing mountains. Huh? Yes, I hear you:

Climbing mountains, most of you would say, why on earth would you do that?  There are cable cars for such things! And what about the muggers?!  the South Africans would scream. Why not just sip a margarita while looking at a mountain instead? (In South Africa, it is not uncommon to get mugged while hiking up our mountains. Our criminals are partial to fresh air and find it most enjoyable to work outdoors, weather permitting of course).

And I agree with your sentiments.

Nevertheless, it comes so highly recommended by all these nature-loving, environmentally-friendly, awfully nice people. So, I thought hell, I like to try out new things, maybe I should give it a go (and it’s on my list) so last Saturday I set out with 4 of my wonderful lady friends (who needs men anyway?) to climb Lion’s Head.

I enjoyed it. And I have to say, there are many advantages to climbing a mountain that I feel necessary to share with you:

1.       It works the hell out of your ass (I found it difficult to sit for the next few days but I loved every moment of it)

2.       You can do it even when there is load-shedding (Foreigners, load-shedding is a South African phenomenon whereby our electricity provider, Eskom, provides power outages on purpose. They forgot that South Africa is a developing country and neglected to consider the possibility of growth and a higher demand of electricity in the future. But don’t worry, we have a timetable so we are never caught unaware – awfully kind of them)

3.       Fit, bare-chested men run up the mountains for you to watch at leisure (Who knew you could run up a mountain?)

4.       Crazy foreigners provide all sorts of entertainment: their attire (either looking as if they are about to go have tea at the Mount Nelson, or in full on safari gear), their mannerisms (Boyfriends carrying their girlfriends’ handbags while hiking) or the way in which they refuse to put any sun tan lotion on and turn a lovely lobster red.

5.       Oh, and the views of course:

All in all, it was a lovely, criminal-free, active and entertaining morning.

The Stock Market vs The Male Market

I have great news. I think that some of my shares may actually be making me a profit in the not too distant future. Yes, please don’t laugh, I know I should have been making a profit from the beginning but hey, I am still learning. And believe me, even if you read every financial market textbook there is, engage in technical/fundamental and value analysis, you will still get it wrong some of the time. Just like we do with relationships. Actually, as far as I can tell, the JSE and men* have a lot in common:

1.          They both have hidden costs: When buying shares on the JSE, you also incur brokerage fees, STRATE fees etc, which, if you are new to this, can take you by quite surprise! (Incidentally, this is why I have been incurring losses – due to not being able to trade with copious amounts of cash, every little cost counts). Men, on the other hand, have more complicated costs that you may not be aware of when you first enter into a relationship – he might have disagreeable friends, be married to golf, enjoy a few too many too frequently, or (God forbid!), he might be disappointing in more intimate circumstances! Costs of the JSE and men occur when you have already made a substantial investment and cannot easily pull out without incurring more costs.

 

2.          They are both unpredictable: The JSE tends to get easily influenced by the investors’ feelings. As a result, it can be extremely volatile and some times not act in the way you would expect, as some other investors’ may have different feelings to yours. Alternatively, men are inexplicably unpredictable – sometimes influenced by their friends, sometimes by their family and sometimes by you. You just never know which way he is going to go. Both shares and men may end up disappointing you for no satisfactory explanation and there is absolutely nothing you can do about this.

 

3.          They are both High Risk, High Return: As many of you might know, the JSE is a high risk investment that can ultimately offer you the greatest return in comparison to other investment options such as cash or bonds. In the same breath however, you can luck out, and incur all the risk without any of the return. It depends very much on your choice of shares and your reasons for investing in them. Similarly, men are a high risk, high return asset (in comparison to pets, a good book or a slab of chocolate). Unfortunately, many of us get it wrong initially: so eager to get into the market, we invest in the wrong man, incur hidden costs and leave the relationship with negative returns usually made up of heartbreak, insecurity and lack of self respect. This results from a lack of comprehensive analysis due to love being ‘blind’. But luckily, most of us learn, and further attempts involve intelligent investing where we are rewarded with high returns, even when there are hidden costs. Both good men and good shares are worth waiting for.

So my investor friends, be careful of what or who you invest in and most importantly, don’t rush into anything. Be patient , have a margarita, and you might just be greatly rewarded.

*I do not deny that this blog could be similarly applied to women. But it is really so much more fun comparing it to men – besides isn’t investing in the stock markets a very manly thing to do? A good comparison, indeed.